Monday, January 21, 2013

What an Awesome God we serve

Update for us and our adoption journey:  God is so good and I don't know why I ever doubt it! Here is the short version. My husband worked all year to hit his bonus goal and on Dec 28th he did it, he hit his goal and friday we received a bonus check we needed to start the adoption process, only being $200 short. It just amazes me (I guess it shouldnt) how God takes care of us and takes us where we are to go. We have been talking about adopting since the beginning of 2012 and now in 2013 we are finally moving forward!! I can't believe it! We still have a lot of money to come up with but after watching God provide this first check how can I doubt His power. Also, the $200 difference that we needed has come in through etsy orders, which I am sure is thanks to Christie from Satisfaction Through Christ! So I want to thank you!!! I am so blessed to have met you through the online world and one day hope to meet you in person. We are so excited to be sending everything in today!!! We have been telling Nolan about his brother in Africa. It is so cute to hear him say "broder in Africa".

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

What holds you back?

Today while scrolling through Facebook, White house black shutters asked a question:
What holds you back from what you really, really want to do?

Out of nowhere, or so it seemed, I put "fear of judgement" and hit enter. I always thought I did things the way I wanted and didn't worry to much about what others thought, but then again, I don't really make big decisions or really do big things.  I am a stay at home mom and I raise our son (with my husband of course)  as best I /we can. I usually think that I don't worry about what others think on that subject. He is a good kid right? Well surprisingly enough, around Christmas time at a family event, I found that I care WAY more than I thought. There was a point in the day where I wanted to go lock myself in the bathroom, cry, and not come out until someone else put him to bed. My two year old was being a complete two year old and in front of my entire family. All 1000 of them (or so it felt that day). As I looked around at all the other kids, not one of them was acting up, being crazy, dumping water glasses or knocking things off the wall.... I was a mess. I couldn't keep up with him and I wanted to scream. I was so worried about what my family thought about how I was raising our son and what a craze he was becoming. (and of course that day my husband was sick in bed and I was on my own) In the midst of it all, my cousin Kristi, whom I like to call superwoman, told me something I really needed to hear. She said to stop worrying about him. No one was judging me, we are family and that I needed to sit and relax. Enjoy the day. She was so right, and Kristi, I should have hugged you right then and there. I needed that! I felt like everyone was watching me and thinking about the toddler I had created. I was worrying too much about what everyone was thinking and not focusing on how to fix the issue at hand. I know my son and had I just stopped for a moment, I may have seen that I just needed to let him be.

(all the little boys)

This story may not explain how it holds me back from all things, but on that day I needed to let go and enjoy my time with family and not worry about being judged. 

So, I have to ask,  What holds you back from what you really, really want to do? Anything??

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Patience & Faith

I have been struggling with keeping up with my blog lately because everything I wanted to talk about, I wasn't able to... I want this to be a place I can open up and share my journey. For me to remember and hopefully a place where others (and myself) can find support. I made my blog private today so I can share my thoughts and later open it back up for others to see our journey as well.

If you don't know me yet, I'm Natassia.  My husband and I got married in 2008 (8/8/08). After about a year being married we wanted to grow our family. In July 2009, we because pregnant. Unfortunately, God called our baby home before we were able to meet him/her. In September 2009 I had to have a DNE. A few months later we became pregnant with our now son. I will never forget my first child and I look forward to meeting my baby in Heaven one day! It was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through but I find joy in picturing my baby laughing and dancing with Jesus and my grandma Gigi. What a picture!!
Fast forward to 2012, I am quickly approaching 30 and I would still like a house full of kids, say 4. My husband and I have been under Gods protection, as we have been trying to get pregnant since March of 2011. I say protection because in December 2011, after a trip to the ER for a ruptured ovarian cyst, we found out we did NOT have maternity coverage. We were in shock to say the least. I am a c-section momma, so our pregnancy could have cost us $30k+. I look back and even though I was frustrated, God was looking out for us. On January 1, 2012, we attended church and I came out of it ready to move forward. This is where God changed my direction. I have ALWAYS had a desire to adopt, and it was something I spoke to my husband about before we got married. I felt one day God would call us to go bring our baby home... BUT I had "MY" plan. I always pictured having 2 or 3 kids and then adopting 1 or 2. I truly think God laughs when we make our own plans. Because on January 1, 2012, God pointed me in the direction of adoption, not after 3 kids, but now. Start now. Research now, and He will lead us where we are to go.

There is a lot of praying going on in this house and many emotions.

Fast forward 1 year later. We are now in January 2013. Things didn't move as fast as I thought they would and I can't believe a year has gone by. On December 20, 2012 my husband and I filled out an application to start the adoption process and we were accepted! We are heading to Uganda. We are both so excited to finally be moving forward but very anxious too. I get very anxious to hear from God and yet I don't think I give Him enough time to speak to me. I want to make God first above all else and sadly that has been harder done than said. Life gets crazy and busy and before I know it, God is lower on the list. He might not be on the bottom, but He isn't #1 anymore. With this new venture, I want to make sure I slow down, have patience and really listen to God and His timing in all of this.

I cannot wait to see what He does in our lives and I can't wait to move towards bringing our little boy home.