Faith

"Yet faith must be tested and tried before it becomes real in your life. Faith always works in a personal way, because the purpose of God is to see that perfect faith is made real in his children. Faith is a tremendously active principle that always puts Jesus Christ first. The life of Faith says, "Lord, you have said it, it appears to be irrational, but i'm going to step out boldly, trusting in Your Word".

God brings us into particular circumstances to educate our faith, because the nature of faith is to make the object of our faith very real to us."

October 30 some parts from My Utmost for His Highest

Hebrews 11:6

Without faith it is impossible to please Him....

I think what really hit home with me was the reminder that God brings us into particular circumstances to educate our faith- we go through trials to put ourselves closer to God. I think too often I forget that or wonder why I'm going through it when I just need to cling to Him and trust his love for me. His love is stronger than anything. 

What are you going through right now that God could be using to bring you closer to Him?

What in your life requires complete FAITH 

A little update

1, One, uno, un, ein

That is the number of people infront of us wanting to adopt a similar gender/age child in Uganda. Just one family and we will be next to get a referral and see our baby's face. Ahhh! Wouldn't that be the best Christmas gift ever! 

This mommas heart is about to explode. 

Thank you for your continuing prayers and support. 

Love you all 

I am a mommy of three

It doesn't take a special day for me to remember my angel baby but it is a special reminder to help support and encourage others who have gone through or are going through a loss. 

I am a mommy of three, with only one child in my home. I long for my angel baby, thank God for Nolan, and pray daily for my little African boy I have yet to meet. 

God is good! He hugs me when I need comforted and sends me friends when I need support. 

Thanking God for you ladies and praying for all you mommas who have gone through a loss. 

There is a piece of my heart in Heaven and I will never forget my baby. 

Power of Prayer

I want to take a moment to remind everyone about the true power of prayer and tell you a little bit about a day I had last week. :) and how I was reminded... It's a reminder, as much for me as it is for you.

So lets begin...The week had been great, my family was fasting from TV, iPad, gaming and internet, we were spending more time together as a family, and trying to put our focus back on God and what He had planned for our day, but to be honest it was trying. If you have met our son you will know that he is high energy. He was into everything and running around like a wild man. :) I so wanted to put him in front of the tv for a moment or give him his iPad just so I could have a moment if peace and quiet. This week I couldn't do that, so instead of turning on the tv I decided to pray and ask/beg God to give me patience and peace to deal with our wonderfully hyper child.  It went something like " Dear God, please don't let me lose it. Help me handle all this craziness. I need you now!" 
During this time of craziness and praying, I was also in the bathroom trying to get ready of our day. He had gymboree later and I needed to dry my hair and finish getting myself ready... this included putting in my contact lenses...This is going to sound funny- I'm 31 years old and just got contact lenses for the first time and every time I try and put them in it takes me 8-18 tries (per eye people!) it's very frustrating. :) So today, while stressed out and begging God for help, I added in a prayer for help with these contacts.  Wanna guess what He did? He helped me! It took me ONE try, in both eyes! In that moment I had to stop and really think about how God helps me, even with the stupid, silly, small things. Because I sure needed His help in that moment. 
What power there is in prayer. Even with the silly, simple things that we don't think we should bother God with- He does care and He wants to help. We just need ask.  

And that was my moment I wanted to share with you all....

So don't be afraid to stop and ask God for even the little things today. 

I pray you all have a wonder week, full of wonderful, small things God does for you to remind you He is there.  

Loving God's Plan

Oh how excited I am to be able to share this with you all and open my blog back up. 

We are adding to our family. 

We will have another little boy (hopefully) sometime next year, sent to us by God, all the way from Uganda.

Here is a little bit of our story. 

I would say it started back in 2012, January 1st for me. My husband and I had been trying to add to our family without any luck and we were both open to adoption, I just wasn't ready as soon as he was. I had "my" plan. We would have 2 biological children and then adopt 1 or 2 after that. Well God had other plans for us. 1.1.12 we were at church and this service was a little bit different. The pastor asked us all to take 10 minutes, during service, and simply sit in silence and listen to God. 

It was hard for me at first, I didn't know how to turn off my brain and sit and listen, but finally I was able to silence it and wait to hear what God wanted to tell me. 

During that time of silence and prayer, I felt and heard God telling me it was time, "Go" is what I heard. God was calling us to go and adopt. This was how He wanted to grow our family at this time. He had another plan for us. We were to adopt our second born child. My husband had felt this calling a few months back but I hadn't, until that day. And boy did I feel it then and did I feel God's love and hope for our family. I bawled, right there in church. 

However, I can't tell you fully why, but it took us a whole year to get started. Partly because there is so much research that goes into starting. We were overwhelmed by it all and didn't know where to begin. We also continued to try and get pregnant while we were researching. Figuring that God would allow it to happen if it was His will. That was still a hard thing to go through and later in 2012 I found out that I had infertility issues and we stopped trying and focused on Gods calling. 

So in December 2012 we filled out an application for our adoption and in January 2013 we were beginning our paperwork process and trusting in God to provide a way. We did not have the funds for this adoption but new that when God calls you, He will make it possible. Let me just tell that every time  we came to a deadline and money was due, God worked miracles and the funds were there. I was reminded each time to Trust and have Faith. 

Now, Sept 30th, we have all our paperwork in country (Uganda) and we are waiting for them to match us with our son.  It is a hard wait. Our age range is 0-3 so more than likely our son is there right now, waiting for us. Waiting for paperwork to be processed and backgrounds to be checked. Once we are matched, we will make 2 trips. The first trip will be 2-3 weeks (which has just changed. When we started the process it was only 5-7 days) than the second trip will be 7-14 days (which also changed from 5-6 days) and we will get to bring our son home. 

I truly can't begin to imagine how hard it will be to meet him and have to leave him for 6-8 weeks until we can go back and bring him home. Right now though, I am praying God keeps him safe and watched over him until we can meet him and know who he is. 

Your prays are truly appreciated. 

Adoption is a hard and wonderful thing.

I believe God is calling all Christians to help the widows and orphans. Not all are called to adopt but all are called to help. You can help by adopting, giving, and praying. There is power in prayer and as an adopting family, we sure would love your prayers as we continue this process. 

This past Sunday my husband and I were in my hometown for the Swiss Festival and we were blessed to be able to attend a the Kickoff of Pure Gift of God (adoption made possible). What a great vision this organization has. Pure Gift of God wants to help those who are thinking about adoption. We know this first hand, it is HARD when you feel called to adopt. You don't always know where to start and once you do, its a long process and a LOT of paperwork. (As you can read in my older posts)

This organization wants to help bring people together to help answer questions and they want to financially help those that are called to adopt.  

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. James 1:27

Pure Gift Of God- Check them out and meet the founders. 

Curt & Erika Yoder

I feel blessed to be able to say that I know Erika and what a heart for God and children she has. 

Knowing God's plan is better

How to start a sentence is always the hardest part for me. So I will begin with, sometimes the things God has us go through feel awful lonely... but when I really stop and look around I'm not alone at all. God is always with me and getting me through whatever comes my way. This time in my life is both a sad time and a most joyous one. Weird that it can be both. Here is my story and why.

Recently I had some tests done that show and explain why we haven't been able to get pregnant the last 2 years. I have some fertility issues, I won't go into depth about that now, but this news is both a relieving and saddening discovery. I often wondered why, and now I know.

On the other side of things, I KNOW God has a plan. I KNOW God hears my cries and my heart. I KNOW God understands the love we have and want to share with children. That is why He pointed us to adoption, and this adoption is my joy. I am so excited and happy to say that we are about half way through. Within the week our home study should be written up and submitted and I can check one more thing off our adoption list. Our little boy is out there and I can't wait to bring him home. I want to meet him more than anything. Even getting pregnant. {let me explain} If we were to get pregnant now, our adoption process would have to be put on hold until our child is 6-9 months old. So where we are now, he is my baby and I am waiting patiently to go get him. So no, I do not want to get pregnant now, but its still hard each month.

Anyway, this is me opening up and sharing my heart. I'm not a great writer and I don't mind that. This place gives me a way to share my feelings and {for some reason} feel better afterwards. I still struggle when I meet pregnant women, I get a little jealous, but I'm also so very excited for them.  I treasured being pregnant with Nolan and I believe that one day, when the time is right, God will bless us again, and hopefully again (one way or another) :)

Busy busy busy

Things have been busy but I like it that way! Last weekend I threw my sister in law a baby shower. It took some time but was a lot of fun and (I think) it turned out great.

Last Friday we also all went to the doctor for our check ups and I got to have blood drawn and a TB test done. Monday, april 8th, morning I had my TB test read and we had our first social worker home visit we got to meet Jennifer and she is just as nice as she seems .
Tuesday- nothing- wow!
Wednesday- 9am finger printing, 10 am-
Fire inspection

Happy to be checking things off the list!

Paperwork, more paperwork and fingerprinting

The home study and adoption paperwork is in full swing. I surely had to learn how I needed to organize all the paperwork very quickly. You have adoption agency paperwork, home study paperwork for your agency, home study paperwork for you and your social worker, other social worker paperwork copies and then a dossier list. Multiple copies for each, some in color, some notarized, some originals- you get the point. Lots and lots of paperwork to bring our sweet little boy home. I do have to say that, so far, the paperwork has helped to somewhat calm me. Yes it adds stress too, but the fact that I am doing something to move the process forward gives me some hope. This week we have worked on background checks and fingerprinting. Next week its doctor appointments, a fire inspection (hopefully) and our first social worker visit April 8th.

Things are slowly but surely moving forward

To our second born son

I lay here tonight, wondering where you are and how you are doing. Have you even been born yet? Are you well? Is someone around you showing you love? You are not alone, you are completely and utterly loved! We cannot wait to bring you home and into our family. Your brother cannot wait to meet you. We pray for you daily and are working hard to get you home. Before we have even met you, we love and miss you terribly. In a few weeks (April 8, 2013) we will meet our social worker and things will get moving along.

See you soon my son!

Xoxo,
Mommy

Let the home study begin!

It's here, it's here! Our home study packet arrived Saturday and we have been going through all the paperwork. When I look at it all I'm comforted knowing that others have gone before us and completed this all before. Because my oh my there is a lot to keep track of. So here we go!

I made myself a keychain yesterday. It is shown here on a necklace, but I have one I wear all the time already. I changed it up and carry this with me now. I wasn't able to show the whole thing on Facebook or in my shop so I couldn't wait to show it here. 

a true LOVE STORY never ends

Ours certainly hasn't

We are patiently (or impatiently) awaiting our home study packet so we can get started. Waiting is tough and we have just begun. I hope for that envelope of information every day. 

Our little boy

I cannot even begin to express the love I have for our little boy, and I am talking about our youngest, the one we haven't even met yet. We are starting our home study soon and the age range of our little boy means that he is likely already in the baby home in Uganda. Tonight at small group, while we were singing, I closed my eyes and for the first time I saw a little baby boy and my heart just flooded with love for this child. I just started praying for him while we were singing. "Please God, watch over my baby. Keep him safe, keep him wealthy, protect him God. Send him my love." My heart aches to hold him and bring him home.
My baby is somewhere in that little spec you see in this picture.... Makes me think of "Hortons hears a Who", our son loves that movie... I see that spec of light and I just know he is out there somewhere. I can feel him and I love him with all my heart already.
God is so good!!

Trusting God in this time

Audio Adrenaline Kings & Queens

Here is a song I recently heard and I wanted to share it. <3

Audio Adrenaline 

Kings & Queens

Little hands, shoeless feet

Lonely eyes looking back at me

Will we leave behind the innocent too brief

On their own, on the run 

When their lives have only begun

These could be our daughters and our sons

And just like a drum I can hear their hearts beating

I know my God won't let them be defeated

Every child has a dream to belong and be loved

(Chorus)

Boys become kings, girls will be queens

Wrapped in Your majesty

When we love, when we love the least of these

Then they will be brave and free

Shout Your name in victory

When we love, when we love the least of these

When we love the least of these

Break our hearts once again

Help us to remember when

We were only children hoping for a friend

Won't you look around 

These are the lives that the world has forgotten

Waiting for doors of our hearts and our homes to open

Chorus

If not us, who will be like Jesus

To the least of these

If not us tell me who will be like Jesus

Like Jesus to the least of these

Boys become kings, girls will be queens

Wrapped in your majesty

When we love, when we love the least of these

Then they will be brave and free shout your name in victory

We will love we will love the least of these

We will love the least of these (Repeat)

What an Awesome God we serve

Update for us and our adoption journey:  God is so good and I don't know why I ever doubt it! Here is the short version. My husband worked all year to hit his bonus goal and on Dec 28th he did it, he hit his goal and friday we received a bonus check we needed to start the adoption process, only being $200 short. It just amazes me (I guess it shouldnt) how God takes care of us and takes us where we are to go. We have been talking about adopting since the beginning of 2012 and now in 2013 we are finally moving forward!! I can't believe it! We still have a lot of money to come up with but after watching God provide this first check how can I doubt His power. Also, the $200 difference that we needed has come in through etsy orders, which I am sure is thanks to Christie from Satisfaction Through Christ! So I want to thank you!!! I am so blessed to have met you through the online world and one day hope to meet you in person. We are so excited to be sending everything in today!!! We have been telling Nolan about his brother in Africa. It is so cute to hear him say "broder in Africa".

Source

What holds you back?

Today while scrolling through Facebook, White house black shutters asked a question:

What holds you back from what you really, really want to do?

Out of nowhere, or so it seemed, I put "fear of judgement" and hit enter. I always thought I did things the way I wanted and didn't worry to much about what others thought, but then again, I don't really make big decisions or really do big things.  I am a stay at home mom and I raise our son (with my husband of course)  as best I /we can. I usually think that I don't worry about what others think on that subject. He is a good kid right? Well surprisingly enough, around Christmas time at a family event, I found that I care WAY more than I thought. There was a point in the day where I wanted to go lock myself in the bathroom, cry, and not come out until someone else put him to bed. My two year old was being a complete two year old and in front of my entire family. All 1000 of them (or so it felt that day). As I looked around at all the other kids, not one of them was acting up, being crazy, dumping water glasses or knocking things off the wall.... I was a mess. I couldn't keep up with him and I wanted to scream. I was so worried about what my family thought about how I was raising our son and what a craze he was becoming. (and of course that day my husband was sick in bed and I was on my own) In the midst of it all, my cousin Kristi, whom I like to call superwoman, told me something I really needed to hear. She said to stop worrying about him. No one was judging me, we are family and that I needed to sit and relax. Enjoy the day. She was so right, and Kristi, I should have hugged you right then and there. I needed that! I felt like everyone was watching me and thinking about the toddler I had created. I was worrying too much about what everyone was thinking and not focusing on how to fix the issue at hand. I know my son and had I just stopped for a moment, I may have seen that I just needed to let him be.

(all the little boys)

This story may not explain how it holds me back from all things, but on that day I needed to let go and enjoy my time with family and not worry about being judged. 

So, I have to ask,  What holds you back from what you really, really want to do? Anything??

Patience & Faith

I have been struggling with keeping up with my blog lately because everything I wanted to talk about, I wasn't able to... I want this to be a place I can open up and share my journey. For me to remember and hopefully a place where others (and myself) can find support. I made my blog private today so I can share my thoughts and later open it back up for others to see our journey as well.

If you don't know me yet, I'm Natassia.  My husband and I got married in 2008 (8/8/08). After about a year being married we wanted to grow our family. In July 2009, we because pregnant. Unfortunately, God called our baby home before we were able to meet him/her. In September 2009 I had to have a DNE. A few months later we became pregnant with our now son. I will never forget my first child and I look forward to meeting my baby in Heaven one day! It was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through but I find joy in picturing my baby laughing and dancing with Jesus and my grandma Gigi. What a picture!!
Fast forward to 2012, I am quickly approaching 30 and I would still like a house full of kids, say 4. My husband and I have been under Gods protection, as we have been trying to get pregnant since March of 2011. I say protection because in December 2011, after a trip to the ER for a ruptured ovarian cyst, we found out we did NOT have maternity coverage. We were in shock to say the least. I am a c-section momma, so our pregnancy could have cost us $30k+. I look back and even though I was frustrated, God was looking out for us. On January 1, 2012, we attended church and I came out of it ready to move forward. This is where God changed my direction. I have ALWAYS had a desire to adopt, and it was something I spoke to my husband about before we got married. I felt one day God would call us to go bring our baby home... BUT I had "MY" plan. I always pictured having 2 or 3 kids and then adopting 1 or 2. I truly think God laughs when we make our own plans. Because on January 1, 2012, God pointed me in the direction of adoption, not after 3 kids, but now. Start now. Research now, and He will lead us where we are to go.

There is a lot of praying going on in this house and many emotions.

Fast forward 1 year later. We are now in January 2013. Things didn't move as fast as I thought they would and I can't believe a year has gone by. On December 20, 2012 my husband and I filled out an application to start the adoption process and we were accepted! We are heading to Uganda. We are both so excited to finally be moving forward but very anxious too. I get very anxious to hear from God and yet I don't think I give Him enough time to speak to me. I want to make God first above all else and sadly that has been harder done than said. Life gets crazy and busy and before I know it, God is lower on the list. He might not be on the bottom, but He isn't #1 anymore. With this new venture, I want to make sure I slow down, have patience and really listen to God and His timing in all of this.

I cannot wait to see what He does in our lives and I can't wait to move towards bringing our little boy home.