If we were to sit down for coffee today, I would probably start with tears in my eyes as I tell you, the last time I had someone over for coffee, it was my neighbor and friend, Kimberly. I would tell you how I miss her, and how I can hear her telling me to grow some lady balls and stop crying. (sorry but she would tell me that). That would make me laugh and I would give you a big hug and thank you for coming by.
I would then tell you that 2012 has started off rough, but has been a big eye-opener for me. I have met some amazing bloggy friends that are so inspiring! They inspire me because they are so open and honest and they make me want to share more about myself and open up....
I would begin to tell you that my husband, Joe and I have been trying to get pregnant since March of last year. We really want to have a bigger family and it has been really hard not being able to get pregnant. I trusted and trust God has a plan for us and am thankful that He gave us a glimpse of His plan... We found out in December that we don't have maternity coverage! We had no idea! I had carried our insurance when I worked, so when I became a SAHM we had to pick up our own and didn't realize we didn't have coverage. I am really thankful that God was watching over us and taking care of us this passed year, but its still hard. Its crazy because I am a c-section mommy and it could have costed us around $30K had we gotten pregnant! That would have been a bill we would have had around for a VERY long time! So again, I praise God for not giving us what we wanted, when we wanted it. Now we are still looking for the right insurance for us, so that means more waiting.
I would ask you to please pray for patience for me. God is calling us to grow our family, I just need to be patient!
I would be silent for a moment and then open up a bit more....
I do not want to sound like I am not happy for other mommys, but it has been really hard lately seeing others get pregnant. I don't want to be like that! I do feel joy and excitement for them but it also makes me sad for myself. I feel so ashamed to admit that. Pray God gives me peace again about all this. Remind me that He is in control and His way is best.
I would wipe my tears and take a sip of my now cold coffee. *smile* and ask you how you have been....How can I be there for you?
How can I pray for you?
So, will you join me for a cup of coffee?
have another cup with Chrissy at Boerman Ramblings