If we were to sit down for coffee today, I would probably start with tears in my eyes as I tell you, the last time I had someone over for coffee, it was my neighbor and friend, Kimberly. I would tell you how I miss her, and how I can hear her telling me to grow some lady balls and stop crying. (sorry but she would tell me that). That would make me laugh and I would give you a big hug and thank you for coming by.
I would then tell you that 2012 has started off rough, but has been a big eye-opener for me. I have met some amazing bloggy friends that are so inspiring! They inspire me because they are so open and honest and they make me want to share more about myself and open up....
I would begin to tell you that my husband, Joe and I have been trying to get pregnant since March of last year. We really want to have a bigger family and it has been really hard not being able to get pregnant. I trusted and trust God has a plan for us and am thankful that He gave us a glimpse of His plan... We found out in December that we don't have maternity coverage! We had no idea! I had carried our insurance when I worked, so when I became a SAHM we had to pick up our own and didn't realize we didn't have coverage. I am really thankful that God was watching over us and taking care of us this passed year, but its still hard. Its crazy because I am a c-section mommy and it could have costed us around $30K had we gotten pregnant! That would have been a bill we would have had around for a VERY long time! So again, I praise God for not giving us what we wanted, when we wanted it. Now we are still looking for the right insurance for us, so that means more waiting.
I would ask you to please pray for patience for me. God is calling us to grow our family, I just need to be patient!
I would be silent for a moment and then open up a bit more....
I do not want to sound like I am not happy for other mommys, but it has been really hard lately seeing others get pregnant. I don't want to be like that! I do feel joy and excitement for them but it also makes me sad for myself. I feel so ashamed to admit that. Pray God gives me peace again about all this. Remind me that He is in control and His way is best.
I would wipe my tears and take a sip of my now cold coffee. *smile* and ask you how you have been....How can I be there for you?
How can I pray for you?
So, will you join me for a cup of coffee?
have another cup with Chrissy at Boerman Ramblings
praying for you my sweet frined.. love u lots and thanks for having coffee with me today!
ReplyDeleteGod's plan is all for GOOD... the verse I've been camping out on this month is Jeremiah 29:11. Praying you find peace and can rest in His plans for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteHappy Friday!
Very pretty post! I am a momma of three now and that gives me chills...all of it! I will be thinking of you during your journey ♥
ReplyDeleteThis is so beautiful. I pray that you can find faith in the journey he has put you on. That is my goal for 2012.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Megan
I want to tell you again how sorry I am for the loss of your friend. I know what if feels like to want to be pregnant and it not happening. Hang in there, when the time is right it will happen. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sharing your grief today, simply because I care for you. I'm so sorry that things have been rough lately. Just remember those sweet glimpses of god's grace, mercy, and all knowing. I'm so sorry about the struggles to grow your family. I'm sorry that it has been hard for you. When I hear of stories like this (my sister in law has had major conception problems) I greive over their feeling of loss and discouragement. I know that it is hard finding out that a friend is pregnant. Just like it's your plan to be pregnant, sometimes it's others plan to not be pregnant. Just as you grieve when someone gets pregnant, they also may be grieving because it was not their plan. Am I making sense at all... Maybe I should email you... LOL.
ReplyDeleteNatassia, When our daughter Macie was 2 we decided we wanted to try and have another baby. After a long couple year process, testing, medication, infertility procedures we just couldnt get pregnant again. Shortly lately I started having life threatening health problems and am still very sick now so God knew the timing wasnt right. I still want another baby but just found out I need a hysterectomy at 29 :( I am so sad about this but thankful for the perfect, beautiful, healthy daughter we have and I know it will take healing that only God can give. Hang in there He knows the desires of your heart and has a plan!!!!
ReplyDeleteIsnt God great? Although have another little one to grow your family would AMAZING! you would have been paying a HUGE bill, and we all knows bills=stress. How awesome to be a little more stress free to enjoy time with your little one now. im praying for you tonight, who knows, maybe you will have a Spring baby next year. (i vote my first kid is in the spring, that means i get to bundle up for TWO over the winter!! holla!!) lol. thanks for being so wonderful! i cant wait to see what the Lord as in store for us and the rest of the little group we are apart of!!
ReplyDeletePraying for you! Hugs sent your way!
ReplyDeleteYou do have girlie balls girl! God has a plan for your family. Whatever it is, just keeping praying.
ReplyDeletehttp://noplainjanehere.blogspot.com/
Your honesty is a beautiful thing, Nat! Who knows, with God, you may conceive that first day after the maternity health coverage gets put into place! I'm praying for you and your sweet heart to be encouraged by God Himself and so grateful to be one of your bloggy friends.
ReplyDeletePraying for you my dear. xxoo
ReplyDelete